Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
