We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
