I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
