i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
