you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
