i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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