They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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