According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
