Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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