Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
