So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
