That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
