Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
