eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
