im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
