Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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