McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
