he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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