Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
