I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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