If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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