He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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