Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
