I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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