afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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