hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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