drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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