I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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