I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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