I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
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