His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
