You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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