its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
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