I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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