okay pat passed out under dana's car
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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