I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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