Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
