it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
