New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
