How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
