pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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