just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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