i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
