you guys were way drunker than both of me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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