My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
