Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
