Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
They took my balls.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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