Yo dont text me then not text me
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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