Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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