C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
